The bidet incident. What the hell is a bidet?

Well that is one question I never thought of when I lived in the states. So imagine my confusion upon seeing one in the bathroom of my then fiancé (now my husband), who we will call R for now.I arrived in France with no real knowledge of what to expect, further details on that will come later though. Today's story is the bidet incident. When we had arrived at R's flat I had asked him, where is the bathroom? Simple question you would think. I mean if someone asks me where the bathroom is, I assume they need to use the toilet, at least I hope that is what they need to do and not snoop through my things or shoot up some drugs lol!Anyway, he pointed to what appeared to be the bathroom, so I walk on in and close the door. First I have to look around of course, and snoop! I mean, this is my new home and I have to see just how clean he is (later I learn a little too clean for my laziness lol). Very neat bathroom, clean sink, which thrilled me. My parents bathroom sink was beyond gross when I was a teenager (although now they have changed thank god!). They would smoke and do their hair in the bathroom, and I mean both parents (stories of my father hair-capades are destined to come later, I assure you) and there was hair and ashes everywhere.But back to the incident. Well I look to my right, beside the sink and see what appears to be a toilet shaped thing connected to the floor but with no seat, lid or bowl filled with water. Instead, it seemed to be a toilet shaped sink, complete with faucets and stopper. Confused I looked at it several minutes, really needing to pee at this point but having no clue what I was looking at. Finally I said to myself, I cannot hold it any longer, so I sat down, well squatted really cause I was scared and did my business. Well there was no toilet paper, obviously, so I had to do that little shake since I saw no kleenex anywhere near. Still dazed but what I was assuming was the toilet, I ran the water in it to clean it. Then I thought, my god what if I would have had to take a crap? Where the hell does that go?As I was walking out of the bathroom I happened to glance to the door to my left and what did I see? Yes you guessed it, a right proper toilet! Complete with seat, lid, bowl full of clean water, handle to flush and toilet paper! Well I was totally embarrassed and there was no way in hell I was going to tell R what I had just done, so I continued my first day, ok my first three years with him without one mention of this.Today he does know and he laughs everytime he thinks of it. But I don't feel so bad because one of our good friends happened to do the same thing! He had never seen a bidet before and used it as a toilet the first time too! So although I don't feel stupid anymore I still get a good laugh out of that one.And just so you know, we bought a new flat shortly after I arrived here. The first thing I told R, "the bidet has got to go" and go it went lol. For me it is a useless piece of ceramic that collects dust and is ugly. Sure some people use them to wash their feet or their backsides, personally my shower does a much better job :)